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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and key events, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room rather too directly, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward entered a community college to access the restrooms during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

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Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|